So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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