your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
