You made me cry and you don't even care
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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