hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
