Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
