I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
