I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
