wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
