Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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