Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
