im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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