I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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