Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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