Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
