i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize