i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
