We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
