Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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