I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
