yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
