Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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