Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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