Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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