So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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