she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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