She said her name was "party"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dicks are not precious.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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