even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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