This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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