Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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