If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
