why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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