I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
