We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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