My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
