did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
