I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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