She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
