somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
