My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
