He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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