everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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