I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
