I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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