Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
