She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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