waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
