i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I deserve to be covered in dicks
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
