so that wasnt chicken after all
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
