I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
