Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
