Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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